Friday, September 14, 2007
Everything is all about self. We are self-seeking, self-driven, materialistic individuals who are driven by our own passions. One thing that we all have in common is that we are searching for true happiness. We think that if we got that pay raise, bigger house, better car that we'd be alright. We can't escape it. You can't turn on your television these days without being saturated with "self".
Maybe we think that if we conform to society that all our dreams will come true. But when we get all those things, does happiness ever truly come? Does keeping up with the Jones' make up for what we are lacking. Now I'm not talking about the world. No, I'm talking about followers of Christ. I'm talking about me and others like me. Those of us who have accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior.
For a long time I was not happy. I thought if I had this or that, then everything would eventually fall into place. Even after I had accepted Christ in my life nothing had changed and this is why. All this was set in place by one instance in middle school. That day changed me.
I was in the seventh grade and in that awkward pre-teen stage. I was standing at my locker and this girl came up to me and said "Don't you have anything else to wear. You wear that same outfit seems like everyday." I gave no rebuttal. I was so hurt that all I wanted to do was run home as fast as I could, climb into bed and never face the world again. Of course throughout the rest of middle school and high school things did not come any easier for me. We've all been through the cruelty of school. I made a promise to myself that I would have everything that my heart desired. At all costs!
That one incident in middle school had marked me with a vengeance, and I never knew it. Even after accepting Christ I felt that something was missing. I wasn't living the life of liberty that I had heard preached for so long. I was spiritually dying, heck I was almost dead. Even then everything was all about me! It was about my desires, passions, and about what I wanted.
All of it is vanity. Here today, gone tomorrow. More of Jesus and less of me is the only thing that brings true happiness. Happiness can't be found in a bottle, can't be found in any materialistic thing. Being a follower of Christ is not simply showing up to church, singing the songs, listening to the preacher and going home still empty. It's only when we give up our selfish mentality and stop trying to fill the void with stuff and let Christ fill those empty places that true happiness comes. Everyone of us has an emptiness that nothing can fill but Christ. Try as we may to fill those empty places, they will never be filled unless we make the decision to decrease and Christ increase. For far too long I've made it all about me. Now all I truly desire is to be who Christ wants me to be. His passion is my passion.